Make lemonade out of lemons: One of the hardest things about leaving a toxic relationship, especially a long one, is feeling like all of the energy we have put into it to try to fix things suddenly becomes a waste of time if we leave. It feels like a failure. But you need to shift your perspective. Any relationship we go through, bad or good, is a learning and growing experience. Life is a journey, not a destination.
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I went to a palm reader my first month of college with two friends. She told me she thought I'd be a journalist, which at the time I thought was a swing and a miss -- I had no intention of writing professionally. She also told me that there were two men, one who wanted to hold on to me but I wanted to pull away, and another that I wanted to be closer to. (I was still getting calls from a guy I'd dated for like a week at the end of high school, and I had a HUGE crush on my best guy friend at college.) She told me if I pulled back from the guy I wanted and played it cool, things would work out. I followed her advice (I had, uh, previously confessed my feelings and had a really hard time hiding how emotionally wrecked I was that he didn't reciprocate) and within a few weeks he was showing interest. We got together that fall and had a very turbulent but personally formative on-and-off relationship for the rest of college. Looking back she was really good at reading me. Better than I was, for sure.
A year and a half or two years after my father died I interviewed a medium for a story. After the interview we had lunch and he asked if I wanted a reading. I agreed and told him that for the most part, I wasn't going to confirm or deny anything he said. I didn't tell him about my father dying (though he was somewhat of a public figure, so definitely Google-able).
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